Tis The Season for Superheroes and Lesbians
by MayFairy
Summary: "There was some beautiful shade of irony to the fact that the Russian assassin who had actually been born in Austria had fallen for the secretly Canadian-born Captain America. (The oh so fearsome Captain America who stood at the towering height of five feet and two inches.)" Carmilla team as the Avengers at Christmas. Oneshot gift for Mrs. 11th. Hollstein and LaFerry, mega fluff.


**Yes, this is the Carmilla Squad as the Avengers, at Christmas. To call this fic a hybrid would be a bit of an understatement. But it's a Christmas present for Mrs. 11th and I know what she likes.**

 **This is the dumbest, fluffiest thing I've written in ages. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Admit it, Robin Hood, sometimes you wish that we could fly too."

Danny 'Hawkeye' Lawrence turned around without delaying the shot she was making. Despite her not looking, a groan from the distance told her that she'd hit her target. Not that she had ever doubted herself.

A metre away, stood Carmilla Karns (once known as the more infamous Mircalla Karnstein), all dark hair and tight uniform and smirk. She was reloading her gun and had apparently no qualms about taking a breather in the middle of a rather tight spot.

"Laura can't fly either," Danny said as she notched her next arrow and glanced sideways to spot her next target and quickly make the shot.

Above them, LaF whizzed past in their Iron suit, and not too far off Kirsch was soaring through the air with the help of his pseudo magical hammer that had the name Danny could never pronounce. Why the thunder god had picked _Kirsch_ of all possible human aliases, Danny would never have any idea, but she found it strangely endearing even if she would never admit it.

Still, the broody assassin who had the not at all morbid codename of Black Widow was annoyingly correct about the flying thing. Perry couldn't fly, exactly, but the Hulk had a serious jump in her.

Which, admittedly, could also be said for Laura. Damn.

Sure enough: "Laura can jump off a building and land almost completely unharmed. And jump almost as high. As far as I'm concerned, it's flying enough."

"Jealous, spiderbite?" Danny asked Carmilla, who rolled her eyes. It was a stupid nickname, Danny was well aware of that, but it annoyed Carmilla, which meant Danny almost never called her anything else.

"You're not?" Carmilla retorted, and Danny considered if she was putting it that way, then sure, maybe a little, but not as much as she might have expected.

"It might be fun, but I like having my feet near the ground," Danny said, shrugging. "Now come on, looks like Laura needs backup."

"This whole thing is bullshit," Carmilla complained as they ran in the direction of the diminutive girl in red, white and blue who was taking on four aliens at once at the end of the street. "Why does there have to be an alien invasion on _Christmas Day_? That's just-"

"Unfair as hell, yeah," Danny agreed, "Still glad you became a hero?"

"I think hero is debatable."

When they reached Laura and the group of vicious blue aliens surrounding her, Carmilla launched herself at the nearest one and locked her thighs around its neck so that she could pull it to the ground. Danny meanwhile notched arrow after arrow to knock out the creatures that made _her_ feel short, and therefore positively towered over Laura.

Of course, Captain America wasn't one to be hindered by something as trivial as height, and she easily knocked the aliens to the ground with a few well placed punches and kicks. It wasn't long before they were all neutralised.

"Thanks, guys," Laura said as she put her shield back on her back and grinned at them, "Is that all of them?"

"Yes, we saved the day, Avengebabes," Kirsch told her happily as he strode up to them, hammer in hand, "The Iron Warrior's gone to calm down their beautiful angry maiden. Said to meet us back at the Tower."

"Awesome, we can finally get around to opening our presents!" Laura squealed, hugging Carmilla from the side. The brunette pretended to look annoyed about the gesture of affection, but no one was buying it even with her eye roll. "You're gonna love what I got you, Carm."

"I'm sure, cupcake, I'm sure."

* * *

If someone had told Mircalla Karnstein five years ago that she would be living in New York City, in a tower with five annoying do-gooders with their own bizarre skill sets or abilities, she would have laughed in their face, and then probably shot them for good measure.

And yet, here she was, Carmilla Karns, SILAS agent and girlfriend-extraordinaire.

There was some beautiful shade of irony to the fact that the Russian assassin who had actually been born in Austria had fallen for the secretly Canadian-born Captain America.

The oh so fearsome Captain America who stood at the towering height of five feet and two inches, and was currently cuddled up to Carm on the sofa of the Avengers Tower living room. Carmilla had her arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and secretly couldn't remember a time in her life that she had been happier.

She was even bizarrely amused and maybe a tiny bit fond as she listened to Danny and Kirsch playfully bicker about the proper way to make hot chocolate.

Did they even have hot chocolate on Asgard? She decided she didn't care either way.

Eventually Perry and LaFontaine came in, holding hands and looking just as sickeningly sweet as Carmilla knew herself and Laura to be.

"Took long enough," she told them, having been impatiently waiting for the present opening to resume.

"No horrific green rage monster inside of you, no capacity for comment," Perry told her airily as she and LaF sat down at the other end of the couch. "Besides, you're hardly the patron of punctuality yourself, Carmilla."

Carmilla just snorted.

"Notice how she doesn't deny it?" Laura said, laughing and sitting up properly much to Carmilla's disappointment. "Okay, presents!"

The only present that had been opened before the alien invasion alert had popped up had been Kirsch's present to Danny - a new quiver of Asgardian make that she had been absolutely floored by. The thunder god had even gotten a hug for a thank you, which had looked like it had made his Christmas more than any present could.

"Laura, open mine," Danny said from behind them, and Laura was only too thrilled to sit at the foot of the tree to find the wrapped gift for her labelled 'from Danny'.

When she opened it, it was a set of whiteboard markers. Laura gave Danny a funny look.

"There may or may not be a giant new whiteboard waiting for you in your room," Danny told her, grinning, "Since you like making all those big diagrams."

Laura beamed. "This is the coolest! Thanks so so much, Danny." She jumped up to hug her friend, which always looked fairly comical due to their height difference.

When she returned to the floor in front of the tree, the next present was labelled 'LaF', and was from Perry, so she passed it to the billionaire scientist, who took it with a grin.

"Should I be scared, Perr?" They asked their girlfriend, who just gave a coy shrug and indicated for them to open it.

When the wrapping paper came off, a framed piece of artwork lay in LaF's lap.

"What the-"

"I know there are a lot of good ones, but that one's my favourite," Perry said, leaning on their shoulder. "Got it off the internet. The artist seemed over the moon that I wanted to get it properly printed for you."

LaF stared at the picture that illustrated a helmetless but otherwise suited up version of them flying through the air with an enraptured Perry in their arms.

"I mean, I knew we had shippers, but what the actual fuck?"

Given that LaFontaine was one of the most famous people in the whole world, their entire life was in the public eye, and once it had become clear a few years back that their relationship with their childhood best friend Lola Perry had turned romantic, the two had gained a bit of an internet following.

One that apparently involved...fanart.

"If you don't like it, you can just say so," Perry sniffed.

LaF grinned. "Are you kidding? It's ridiculous, but it's the best thing I've seen all month. Do you think they'd make such nice pictures if they knew you were the Hulk?"

"Well, hopefully we'll never have to find out."

"What's this behind it?" LaF turned the frame over to find a pair of brightly coloured striped socks were sitting behind it. "Seriously, Perr?"

"What?" Perry asked, indignantly. "One can never have enough socks, and you're _constantly_ losing yours and stealing mine. It's a problem and this is me trying to remedy it."

LaF shook their head and leaned in to give her a peck before she could ramble on any further. "You're fucking insane. I love you."

Perry seemed to be intent on ignoring the first sentence, but was happy enough to kiss them back. "Well, you're welcome."

Carmilla pretended to gag, but everyone else was too busy smiling at the happy couple to notice or care.

After more and more presents (such as a pom pom hat for Kirsch from Laura that absolutely delighted the Asgardian and went straight on his head), finally there were only two presents left. Carmilla and Laura's for each other.

Laura let out her biggest squeal yet and shoved Carmilla's present into the brunette's lap before seizing her own. It was square and of a shape that had to have given her an idea of what it was, but to the tiny Captain's credit, she didn't try to make any guesses aloud.

"You first," she said, and Carmilla wasn't one to deny Laura anything, so she unwrapped the gift only to gape at the book that lay in her lap.

" _The Picture of Dorian Gray,_ first edition," she murmured, utterly awed. "Laura, where the hell did you find this?"

"Having contacts from the 1940's can come in handy," Laura said smugly. "Besides, given how convinced I am that you're the great queer literary snarkmaster reincarnated, I knew that getting you some Oscar Wilde was the only real option. You were running out of things to fuel your philosophical broodiness."

Carmilla couldn't even roll her eyes at that; she was too busy grinning. She slid to the floor and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend so that she could plant a big kiss on her cheek.

"You are far, far too good to me. And my present isn't nearly as good."

"We'll see," Laura told her, pulling off the wrapping paper to reveal the record that lay underneath. "Bing Crosby?" She breathed. " _Swinging On A Star?_ Carm, I mentioned this _once_ , how did you remember?"

"You said it was your favourite song," Carmilla said, shrugging, "Of course I remembered."

Laura's hand smoothed over the record cover, a reverence on her face that told Carmilla that her mind had gone back to the 1940's and times she had spent there.

She had revealed to Carm a while back just how much she loved the 21st century, no matter how much she missed her home, because she had long discovered her attraction to girls and could never have dreamed that one day she would be able to kiss a girl she loved in the street and have most people not care. But that didn't mean she couldn't still remember the good parts of the time she had been born in, and Carmilla had picked the gift with that in mind.

Laura's head then jerked up.

"I'll be right back."

She sprinted from the room, and Carmilla watched her go with a grin, a fair idea what she would be returning with. Sure enough, Laura carried in the rather large record player that looked absurd in proportion to her body size but was not remotely difficult for her to carry.

Within half a minute it was set up and the record was on. The old-fashioned tune blared from the speakers and Carmilla found herself being pulled up from the floor - very quickly due to Laura's super strength - and into an upbeat dance with her beaming girlfriend.

It wasn't long before LaF and Kirsch held out their hands to the ginger ladies next to them, and they all danced to the tune happily to the tune that only Laura really knew, but she was humming along enthusiastically enough for all of them.

"Best Christmas ever," she told Carmilla, who spun her around and grinned.

"You know me, cupcake, I aim to impress." She pulled her in by the hand and kissed her soundly, paying no attention to the other two dancing pairs and how they pretended to be grossed out by their display of affection.

As if Carmilla gave two shits about such things when she was busy kissing Laura Hollis.

Perhaps it was the biggest cliche in the world to say that her little Captain America tasted of freedom, but it didn't stop it from being entirely true. When kissing Laura, all of Carmilla's awful past melted away for those few seconds, and the warmth of the future before them spread through her whole body.

There could be many Christmases like this. All together. Happy. A family, of sorts. All things Carmilla had once been sure she would never have, until SILAS and the out of time superhero had come into her life.

People like Laura (and Kirsch and Perry) were proof that there was always more to the world than one might think. And while she might have found that crazy at first, now she wouldn't trade it for anything.

Not that she would ever be this sappy out loud. She had a reputation to maintain.

When the song came to an end, Laura kept her arms around Carm's waist and rested against her chest contently. At least until LaF lifted their head to the ceiling and spoke to the artificial intelligence that ran through the tower.

"JP, Christmas playlist, please."

" _Of course, Mx LaFontaine,"_ JP replied cordially, and a very familiar song began to blare through speakers in the corners of the room.

Carmilla grinned and spun Laura around to displace her from their embrace. "You ever listen to any Mariah Carey, creampuff?"

"Don't think I've got to her on my list yet. People told me Harry Potter was a big priority, and that took me a while."

"I'm also unfamiliar with Mariah of Carey," Kirsch told them.

"Well," Carm said, taking Laura's hands and pulling her into another dance, "This song is the only song that could possibly matter on Christmas, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."

"Not Silent Night?"

"Definitely not."

Laura paused and listened to the song more intently, and it wasn't long before she was grinning. "I like this song," she told Carmilla before kissing her.

"I knew you would, it's as horrifically cute and cheesy as you are," Carmilla murmured against her lips, her hands coming up to lose themselves in her hair.

"Explains why you like it, then."

Carmilla smirked and pulled her into a tighter embrace, breathing in her unique scent and wondering not for the first time what she had ever done to deserve all of this. The soothing lyrics of what she would always consider the best Christmas song of all time meanwhile washed over them.

 _All I want for Christmas...is you..._

She let herself enjoy the cheesiness of the moment just a little longer, even at the risk of teasing from Danny later. It was Christmas, after all.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, hope it was cute and fun and festive! (And Lou, I hope you loved it and it lived up to your clueless expectations.) Merry Christmas everyone!**

 **I've not written for either of these fandoms before, so I'd love to know what you thought!**

 **-MayFairy :)**


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